Saturday, January 31, 2009

Feeling helpless

My heart aches for Mason's family. They are truly a wonderful bunch of people. Mason & Trey are polite, wonderful little men. I wish that there was something I could do to be helpful. They are in a miserable place. Please continue you prayers for comfort & strength for this family.

I went to see Mason today. I hope that I was not too much of an imposition on the family and that I did not over-stay my welcome. It was in a strange way comforting to be back "home" where I lived for essentially 2 years. I got to see some people who had become family but I had not seen in 3 months. I don't want to come off sounding selfish, but the hardest part for me was walking into Mason's room. It is the very room where Cameron died. Only a nurse was in there when I arrived so I was able to take a moment for composure before Mason & his family arrived.

I learned 2 things about myself today 1) I am ok. and 2) I'm better at taking care of other people than I am myself.


  1. Lori,
    I love the line at the top of your blog. "You don't know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have." That is soooo true. I never thought I would have been able to handle what I have with Tyler, and yet during it, I never thought about it. I just did it, cause there was no other choice. And now I look at you and too many others, and think how do you do it? God truly only gives us what we can handle. Some times I have wished God did not make us so capable!! But we are, and Samantha needs you. And one day your family will reunite forever and ever!
    You are in our prayers.
    Kathy Alfriend

  2. Lori, I am overwhelmed in realizing how many friends you are supporting that are going through the cancer issues. I think it is great that Childrens provides a "family" for people that are all in the same boat. Those who have been there can help in a way no one else can. I am sure they enjoyed and appreciate your vist.

    I think you are very brave to go for a visit. I know people who have lost loved ones in nursing homes that are friends with other patients there and do not go back to visit because it is too hard. I think most people agree with me in that kids in pain is much harder to see and think about than the elderly.

    Your grace and strength continue to be an inspiration to me. You and your family are in my prayers daily as well as Trey and Mason.