Am I really going to blog?: September 2009

Monday, September 28, 2009

Daisy Scouts

Yesterday Samantha had her first Daisy Scouts meeting. There were 15 kindergarten and 1st grade girls there - all very excited. (I am glad I am not the troop leader.) They had a garden party where they learned table manners and did some crafts. Much different from our boy scout experiences where we learned about bugs, knots and fishing. Between ice skating lessons, daisy scouts, being a flower girl and birthday parties, we are in for a busy fall.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Cloudy

with a chance of meatballs! I took Sam to the theater to see it this weekend. We opted out of the 3-D version as they tend to be too intense for her. It was little scary for her towards the end, but overall she loved it. Of course, she loves every movie that we go to see. She loves the experience of going to the theater. She loves the popcorn (& sometimes a hot dog too!) There are several movies coming up that are on her list - especially The Princess and the Frog and Alvin & the Chipmunks 2 - both due out in December.

We also went to the library yesterday. Sam was able to get her very own library card. She is so proud to have it. She has stashed it away in her little purple purse.

Now, for a quiet evening at home.
Lori

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Days like today

I really miss my mom.

Sam woke up feeling bad. She had a low-grade temp and digestive problems. My mom would not have blinked an eye at providing childcare. She would have thrown on her clothes, jumped in her car and been here in just a few minutes so I wouldn't be late for work. Instead, I had to scramble to find help. I can't believe it has almost been a year.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Back from Hilton Head

Thanks to the kindness of friends, we had a wonderful long weekend on Hilton Head Island. Sam was so excited to be at the ocean again - this is her 4th trip to the 4th different beach. My plan is to take her to as many different beaches along the eastern coast as possible. Because of the holiday, she only missed one day of school.

I can't believe she tried the raft again after her disasterous ride in Florida.

She has a drawer full of bathing suits, but only wants to wear this one. Next year, I won't make the mistake of over-buying. Well, I probably will but maybe she will agree to wear different ones so all of the pictures don't look the same.

Off to finish unpacking & to do some laundry. She is off to school tomorrow while I plan to spend the day relaxing & have lunch with my dad.

I HOPE....

I hope you never have to hear the words, 'Your child has cancer.'

I hope you never have to hear, 'The prognosis is not good.'

I hope you never have to prepare to undergo radiation or chemotherapy, have a port surgically inserted into their chest, be connected to IV poles. Look at you with fear in their eyes and say, 'Don't worry Mommy, everything will be okay.'

I hope you never have to hold your child as they vomit green bile.

I hope you never have to feed them ice chips for lunch.

I hope you never have to watch the 'cure' you pray for slowly take away their identity, as they lose their hair, become skeletal, swell up from steroids, develop severe acne, become barely or unable to walk or move, and look at you with hope in their eyes and say,'It's going to be okay, Mommy.'

I hope that you never have to stay in the hospital for weeks, months, or years at a time, where there is no privacy, sleeping on a slab, with your face to the wall, where you cry in muffled silence.

I hope you never have to see a mother, alone, huddled, in a dark hospital corridor...crying quietly, after just being told, 'There is nothing more we can do.'

I hope you never have to watch a family wander aimlessly, minutes after their child's body has been removed.

I hope you never have to use every bit of energy you have left, with all of this going on around you to remain positive, and the feelings of guilt, sorrow, hope and fear, overwhelm you.

I hope you never have to see a child's head bolted to the table as they receive radiation.

I hope you never have to take your child home (grateful but so afraid) in a wheelchair because the chemo and radiation has damaged their muscles, 35 pounds lighter, pale, bald, and scarred. And they look at you with faith in their eyes and say, 'It's going to be okay Mommy.'

I hope you never have to face the few friends that have stuck beside you and hear them say, 'Thank God that is over with,'...because you know it never will be. Your life becomes a whirl of doctors, blood tests and MRI's and you try to get your life back to 'normal'. While living in mind-numbing fear that any one of those tests could result in hearing the dreaded words...'The cancer has returned' or 'The tumor is growing.' And your friends become even fewer.

I hope you never have to experience any of these things... Because...only then...Will you understand...

(author unknown)