List updates!

Updates

1. Run/jog/walk 1000 miles. Current status: 503.69/1000.

I am still about 10 miles behind where I should be, but am very slowly catching up! It does feel good to be more than half done! Unfortunately, I am looking at a very busy week. I hope to not lose too much ground.

2. Read 100 books. Current Status: 30/100

Since the last update I have read: The Color of Water in July: A Novel by Nora Carroll; What Stays in Vegas by Beth Labonte; Waiting Fate by W.B. Kinnette; One Step Too Far by Tina Seskis; Running from Love: A Story for Runners and Lovers by Rozsa Gaston; All For Anna (Letting Go) by Nicole Deese; Truth About Managing People (3rd Edition) by Stephen P. Robbins

YIKES! I am still way behind!

3. Lose 25 pounds. No comment.

4. Get more organized. No comment

5. Make one new recipe per week. Current status: 23/52

Falling behind here too!


I am beginning to think that I have too many ambitious goals this year!

All of that fuss.....

for cysts.

I cannot say enough good things about Riverside's Breast Health Center. EVERY SINGLE PERSON I encountered there today was wonderful and caring. I never plan to go anywhere else.

It started with registration. Quick, easy and strangely comforting. The registration lady assured me that I would not leave the building until I had answers.

Next came the mammograms. Yes, plural. Regular, compression - which is different than regular in a way that I cannot really explain and a 3D mammogram which was pretty cool with the machine rotating around while clicking pictures. Then, back to the private waiting room with a Hershey bar. They seriously know their clientele.

Finally, the ultrasound. At this point I am a little shaky. The tech covered me with one of those soft fuzzy blankets still warm from the dryer. Very soothing. Then I got a look at the screen. There they were. 4 black blobs that should not be there. She measured them from all angles. I tried not to look, but like an accident scene, I couldn't help myself. I tried not to vomit & was actually successful with that. Then she patted me & left the room. That is when I cried.

After a few moments, a kind and gentle doctor came in. I have no idea what her name is. All I remember is her saying "Honey, don't cry. These are cysts. Fluid-filled, benign cysts." She may have said something else too. I don't remember. I felt dizzy and embarrassed. She patted me too and said "see you next year."

And that was it. Now I am home with my feet up trying to recover from the emotional upheaval of the last week.

Thanks to all of you for the kind thoughts and prayers.

Until next time,
Lori

Only one more day of waiting!

This is SERIOUSLY.KILLING.ME.

I know that I have PTSD. I know it from the symptoms. I know it from friends. I know it from colleagues who are mental health professionals. I know it from my family practice doctor. Knowing it and coping with it are two worlds apart.

Logical me knows that blips pop up all the time on mammograms and lots of women get called back to find out about a cyst. Or that they inadvertently worn deodorant and that messed up the film making it look like a big black shadow. Or any other number of benign issues.

I KNOW that.

BUT, when I looked at my letter, my first thought was "I am going to die." I haven't been able to shake it either. I did not schedule my over-due hair appointment when I saw my lady last week because what is the point? I look at my daughter and at times I simply cannot breathe.

I don't get good medical news. Just doesn't happen for me. Maybe tomorrow can be a first. Who knows? In the meantime, I am going to count on some pharmaceutical help.

Lori

So friends....

I've not been myself. Kind of down, worried. Expecting the worst.

All because of a letter. A form letter in fact. The kind of form letter that doesn't even have a copied signature. Just some random guys name typed at the bottom.

So, my letter said that my recent mammogram "shows a finding that requires additional imaging studies. You should call your doctor to have an appointment scheduled for complete evaluation of this finding if you have not already done so."

Um.... how would I have done so when I just not got your freaking letter???? At 6 PM. So, I get to worry and stew and cry all night. Imaging all of the worst things. Wishing I could just talk to my mom.

So, first thing in the morning I tried calling my doctor. He was in surgery all morning. Left messages for the nurse to call me back. Every hour. She never called.

So, I tried calling the radiologist whose name was typed on the bottom of my letter. He, conveniently, was not taking calls that day. Seriously? Is that an option?

So, I tried calling the Women's Center where the original mammogram was done. Guess what? They don't know anything.

In desperation, I called Riverside Hospital's Breast Health Center in Columbus. I have never been a patient there, but I've heard good things about them. So, why not? No one else will talk to me, what is one more rejection?

Guess what? Polly talked to me. She had me sign a release & fax it to her. She got a copy of my report and shared it with me ("something" on the far right side of the right breast). She scheduled me for a compression mammogram (not sure how that is different from a regular one), ultrasound and consult with the doctor on Tuesday. She promised me that I would not leave there without an answer. Bless her heart. She may have single-handedly prevented an absolute breakdown just by talking with me.

So, poor sleep and an active imagination have made for a fragile me. But I only have to get through a few more days. Good thing I am medicated.

I will update again when I have something more to say. Positive thoughts & prayers are appreciated!

Lori

48 years ago today....

my parents got married.

Can't find their wedding photo on this computer, so a pic from the 70s will have to do.

Boring updates.....

Updates

1. Run/jog/walk 1000 miles. Current status: 347.28/1000.

Still behind, but catching up. It is so hard to work in 2.74 miles EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. This leaves me very little time for cross-training which I know I am going to pay for in the long-run. Need to work on finding a better balance.

2. Read 100 books. Current Status: 23/100

Since the last update I have read: Need to Breathe by Tara Staley; Stretch Marks: A Novel by Kimberly Stuart; Sunflowers by Melodie Starkey; Absence of Grace by Ann Warner; Growing from Depression by Neel Burton; Unfriend Yourself: Three Days to Detox, Discern, and Decide About Social Media; Jane Rochester: A Novel Inspired by Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre by Kimberly A. Bennett; & Miracles: 32 True Stories by Joanie Hileman.

YIKES! I am way behind (should be at 38 books down right now!). It feels like I am reading A LOT but not getting anywhere!

3. Lose 25 pounds. No comment.

4. Get more organized. No comment

5. Make one new recipe per week. Current status: 20/52

 

Doing ok here. Made yummy French toast using French Vanilla coffee creamer - Thanks to Krogers for that idea! Have also made random side dishes - roasted tomatoes with olive oil and parmesan cheese, breakfast smoothie with almond milk, frozen banana, black berries, Greek yogurt and 6 almonds; fudgy brownies with cream cheese swirls. My favorite (& new regular is this: http://foodpicsgo.com/?p=1618).

 

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Otherwise, life is just busy!  Will try to do a more interesting update soon!

 

Until next time,

Lori

Running Anniversary

This upcoming weekend is the 3 year anniversary of my "running."

Those who know me well know that I use the term "running" lightly. I move/shuffle along on either the bike path by my work or on a treadmill. I am not fast. But, I do have stamina and sheer determination to just keep on going. Part of why I keep on going is the running community has made me feel very welcomed and you never know what you are going to see out there! And I have seen a lot (too much really!) - everything from a man getting chest compressions to bare naked behinds. Seriously. Better than TV most days!

In these 3 years I have logged literally thousands of miles. That is astounding to me. I am a couch potato who does not like to sweat. But, I have come to embrace it! I have completed countless 5Ks (though I probably could count all those t-shirts!), 3 10Ks and 4 half marathons! Holy Cow! I have also spent $$$$$$$$$$ on shoes, clothes (sports bras are pricey!), entry fees and photos. All worth it!

I prefer running to a team sport. Out there, it is all me. I can only depend on myself to get there and back. Also, no one is depending on me, so if I am having a bad day, it is ok.

Recently, I was lunching with my family at our local Olive Garden when a waiter approached, pointed at my shirt and said "Hey, how did you do?" At first, I was confused, but then I realized that I was wearing my 2013 Athens Half Marathon shirt. We chatted for a few minutes about the course, the great weather that day and our various injuries. Another reminder that the running community is real and accepting, even of a middle-aged over-weight woman!



Photos from the 2013 Athens Half Marathon!

 

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While perusing on-line I came across this article & it made me laugh at loud!

9 Reasons Running Doesn't Suck as Much as You Think

1. You can lose weight by drinking nothing but hot water with lemon OR you can run for an hour, treat yourself to a cookie and still fit into your skinny jeans! One of these options makes you bitchy. The other makes you rad.
2. Take your iPod with you and runs suddenly become a safe place to indulge your love of boy-band music. :)
3. When your boss, your melodramatic friend and your nagging to-do list won’t leave you alone, calmly put on your running shoes and head out the door. They won’t follow you. It’s a safer alternative to storming out with both middle fingers in the air (though you can -and should- still do this in your head, just for spectacular effect).
4. You’ll discover lululemon pants are good for more than just buying tampons and Cheez-its at Target (I know, ladies. My world was rocked with that discovery, too.).
5. Running is the last place you have to “be a lady.” Sweat, snot and sneaking behind a bush to pee is not only liberating it’s fun, in that giggly-childish-naughty kind of way.
6. Getting a run in before happy hour means you get tipsy on half a glass of wine instead of your usual two. That’s not being a lush, that’s just sound economic planning!
7. Studies have shown that runners have better sex. Sex counts as a cross-training workout, which in turn makes you a better runner, which – hello! – leads to even better sex. Really, the whole thing is full of win-wins.
8. Girls are lucky; there’s an entire industry committed to making us look awesome while getting our sweat on. Workout clothes come in all sorts of cool colors and designs. Jockstraps, on the other hand, will always be ugly with questionable stains....
9. Non-runners will sit on the couch and call you crazy. Those folks, sadly, will never learn what their bodies are capable of. You, on the other hand, will die knowing you completely, totally, unabashedly used up the body that was loaned to you. That’s not crazy. That’s freakin’ awesome!